My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
