WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
