She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
