what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
