Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
