They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
