Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
