the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
