she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
