just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
