What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
