Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
