the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize
