i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
