i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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