come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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