these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
