I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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