but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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