yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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