so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
