she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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