I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
