i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
