So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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