Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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