It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
