Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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