Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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