i used baking grease as lip gloss
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dick very happy bro
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
