how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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