Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
