People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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