Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
