Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
