Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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