Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
