1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Jerry, you need to find god
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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