it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
