..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
