She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
