Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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