I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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