I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
