I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
