wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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