The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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