So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
