i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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