i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
