oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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