College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
a search helicopter?!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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