genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
