She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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