like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
BRING THE BAGELS
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
