I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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