I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I touched a dick in church today
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