do herpes really smell.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
